Deep Connection in a world of Noise
“The world is so noisy.” I have a variation of a conversation on the topic of noise with my friends on an almost daily basis, and it’s true on most sheaths of our lives.
When we collectively went through the Covid lockdowns we commented on the silence around us.
No cars.
No planes.
Suddenly there was space in time, and silence around us. So much less noise in the air. We heard the birds again. Heard our own breath again. We commented on how nice it was, and then we rushed back to our comfort zone of filling the space with noise. Silence is uncomfortable, we have to face ourselves, and that as we know, can be a whole can of worms. But the physical noise is only one part.
The noisiest noise is more subtle, and sometimes doesn’t even make a sound. Information travels so fast. It seems like ADHD, or some variation of attention deficit, is more the norm than not. We are not supposed to self diagnose, but none of us can really focus or tune out. We rent cabins in the woods to go offline, to escape the noise pollution for a minute.
When I think of my grandma, who was born in 1913, 100 years before my youngest son, I’m hit with the enormous responsibility we carry to curate our experience to not be permanently anxious in a way I don’t think my grandma ever was.
There is so much choice and so, so much noise.
There are ads, everywhere.
Most of the time we probably don’t even notice them anymore, it’s a natural part of the fabric of our lives that we learn to filter out. It gives us no meaning, doesn’t add any value to our lives, and the advertisers play a “numbers game” where they know they are bothering us, but if they catch some of us in the moment when we might hit the buy button, it’s worth it to them.
And most of all it gives us no connection. With the numbing of the avalanche of email funnels, targeted advertising campaigns on social media where we get ads for things our phone heard us talk about tangentially, with our friends in person, there is nowhere to escape. Existing in the meteor shower of everyone playing a numbers game, our shield is up, whether we think about it or not, it has to be. That’s the dark part, or perhaps a small part of the dark part.
We always find ways around though, don’t we? Until the gentrification of all our spaces catch up and we create and find new spaces. For example the way communities were created on TikTok over the past few years, before the ads became so abundant.
Where raw, “ugly” format content built communities of kindness, inclusion and support. Where women in abusive relationships found the education and strength to leave and recreate their lives. Where trans kids found their people. Where we got to redefine and challenge ourselves. Where fringes found each other and where the world for a moment wasn’t polished but real, and we could connect over time and space. Obviously there are problematic areas, the darkness is always present and exposed when people are left to do what they want, but we also saw the possibility of connection and a new aesthetic of relating.
Then where do we connect now? It seems like people will always find the next place to congregate. We crave connection, whatever it looks like for us. For me quality always trumps quantity, I will seek out my people and connect with them regardless of where they are in the world. My ride or die friend lives on a different continent and we use technology to stay close. I see retreats soaring where we unplug and center a short time around connecting.
There is a company that I love, that I have been following and buying from for a decade. I look forward to hearing from them, on any channel. I feel connected to their message and the platform we connect on, whether in person or online is irrelevant. They cut through the noise, for me, I am their ideal client and when their offer aligns with my needs, I will always buy what they offer.
What does all this mean for brands building authentic connection with their customers? In a way I think that most things are like dating. The more authentic and honest we are, the better the match will eventually be. When we try to impress or get caught up in a formula of how things need to be we don’t show up authentically. I know you have heard that so many times and it looses its meaning but I think it’s true. To connect authentically we have to be real, willing to be raw and connect as humans, even when we communicate as brands. To be who we are and attract the right people rather than chase them. A good example is Stella McCartney. They do all the things that their brand values are, and their super fans show up. They have oxygenated air in their London store, curating the experience of their customers in such detail that you don’t even know, you just experience and either it resonates or it doesn’t, and community is created.
So let’s say for argument’s sake that one sheath, or perhaps two, of our existence operate under the law of attraction. If that is the part of the universe we are currently inhabiting, then as people, and brands, when we show up as our authentic selves our ideal people and community will gravitate towards us. And that’s where we connect.